Spring Cleaning.

"The United States spends more on trash bags than 90 other countries spend on everything. The receptacles of our waste cost more than all of the goods consumed by nearly half of the world's nations.'"

Feeling the need to downsize. To Simplify. Tomorrows goal is to organize just one corner. For those of you who know me, there are piles of clothes in my room and closet. & I live out of my car. I'm spending 30 minutes tomorrow to clean. Hey, don't hate, its a start. I have too much junk in my trunk. However, I really think it is a national problem. I mean if we are as Americans are spending more on trash bags than 90% of countries spend on everything. Sounds like America has a lot of junk. It reminds me of what Jesus said about the Pharisees. He said outside they were clean but inside they were full of dead men's bones -Matthew 23:27-29.

Over & Over Americans play the same role of life. Divorce rates go up 50% to 67% for the second marriage and catapults to 73% for the 3rd. Instead of learning from our mistakes more people repeat them. If only they'd cleaned house rather than cleaning the outside, then their trunks wouldn't be carrying past experiences into contemporary relationships. For those like myself, we find ourselves trapped in an unhealthy workplace environment that we're afraid to leave. Because of the junk in our trunk, we can't see beyond the short-term needs for a paycheck. And, even if we seek a new position, it does no good to change jobs if we retain old attitudes.

The last closet to clean is the one between our ears. It gathers more debris than any attic, more soot than any chimney. The worse part is no one but you knows whats there. Cleaning out my old memories of unforgivness has been more difficult than I have ever thought. I say I don't hold grudges, but in all reality It is very hard for me to forgive someone. I have always thought that unforgivness would punish someone that has hurt me or done me wrong. But, It doesn't. What it has done is keep my heart filled with anger,hostility, and bitterness. Forgiveness isn't for the benefit of the person who hurt me. Forgiveness is a gift that I need to give myself. Through trying to forgive others, I hope to unhook myself from the past and free my soul to escape the dismal and experience the delightful again.

Believe me, dealing with Junk isn't as easy as it sounds. When looking at research done by td jakes on Junk... he quotes Ancient Eastern philosophies like feng shui that proposes that physical things have energy. They can represent the old relationships, which could mean old hurts and disappointments. For example, holding on an old photo to someone who lied to you or a piece of jewelry from some old guy that did you wrong, each time you look at the physical item, whether you are conscious or not you are reminded of sadness & pain. So in this moving process, my goal is to burn some old pictures, pawn some jewelry and sell some things. Because that is exactly what I do. Ive always been the keep sake person, the hold on to it because it has a special meaning. Nah... Not when I need to break through, I love myself more than a few old pictures.

I haven't personally cleaned my room in three years. Seriously, there are clothes, dust, trash, paper piles, shoes, baskets filled with paper, or clothes,& I can't remember the last time I vacuumed... & when I think about it I haven't cleaned since people started really hurting me. Why? Psychologically maybe it has to do with holding onto something, Maybe it doesn't. Bottom Line, If you don’t like the story line I'm currently rocking… then I have the power to CHANGE IT! It is all on me to change my mind about whatever does not work for me.We always have a choice as to how we will view a situation and I am suggesting viewing your life in a way that empowers you and taking responsibility for your own happiness…because you are the only one who can.Remember fear is just a FEELING, not a FACT.

The bad part about this is, that its not going to happen over night. Breaking these cycles require making decisions. It doesn't matter how many mistakes I have made, how traumatic the circumstances from which I have come, or how distant I feel from the childhood dreams that once motivated me. If I want to change. I can. But, I have to want to move on with my life.As the saying goes, Before you can catalyze you must cauterize.