Sunday, January 16, 2011

Happy Hour



The Clock hits 5 o'clock pm and offices everywhere empty out as men and women hurry off to their favorite watering hole to release the stress and forget the cares of the day.
Its 5 o'clock somewhere and when the clock strikes five, its Happy Hour. A time to throw back a few rounds of beer. Happy hour could be a buy one get one free shoe sale at your favorite shoe store, or it could be countless hours of keeping up with the junk food reality tv as you multi task facebook on the couch. For some, it may be a drive thru or hours excercising at the local gym or a few ours spent sleeping. It's all the same, Happy hour is about escaping.. indulging... its about feeling... Happy?
I just recently recognized my own happy hour, I found myself circling the parking lot of Belk looking and praying for a "parking favor" as I was also fussing to myself about the intelligent double space parkers. It was purely instinctive really, I'd hop into my car and without thinking drive to the local great beacon of capitalism- the shopping mall.
"Why am I here?" I'd asked myself... Well, it'd been one of those weeks. You know the kind I'm talking about, when the usual places you go to for love are closed for business. My career wasn't giving me the emotional love I wanted, my relationship was simply exhausting (yep, not feeling the love there either). I was overworked, sleep deprived and my physical appearance wasn't exactly turning heads either. But, Shoes... Shoes, always fit.
Did I need anything? One look at my closet and another at my check book would tell me... no. You see, I was emotionally spent. Frustration with my dating life making me sad and angry, and to make matters worse I'd messed up on something at work. So I would run to the mall, particularly the shoe department at Belk and fill the ache in my heart. So on my happy hour I would simply take a visit to see Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Jessica Simpson, and Carlos Santana.
I'd done enough emotional spending to know that another pair of designer jeans or shoes wasn't the answer. In reality, I was making things worse. Eventually the credit card bill arrives, and my outfits magical ability to make me feel good about myself is gone in the first wash.
Just like a hangover of a night of too much drinking, any version of happy hour can have you feeling tired and dehydrated. I know my soul isn't going to be filled with a new outfit or a great pair of new six inch heels. These things are only temporary and the issues will resurface if I don't run to Jesus Christ.

I have a box of old photographs from my happy hour days. Pictures of me double fisting, shot gunning with others who also were using substance to numb their aches. A time where going to bars was a given and my life revolved around getting a good buzz. I see past my physical appearance in those pictures, I see a girl with a big fake smile.
If you could have seen me then you would've see a girl who was always desperately trying to be the life of the party. Always trying to be fun, cute, and so entertaining. I thought if I could convince everyone else I was having a good time- maybe I would believe it myself. The more I tried to squeeze life out of a bottle, the more I lost myself.
The main problem with Happy Hour is that its never enough. Narcotics and other drugs are dangerous in their own way but the motives behind using them is to numb and escape the pain and emptiness of life. But, the more you use, the more they have to use because the core problem is still there.

Hope is what most of us need isn't it? Because, God loves us so much, He planned an intervention. He hates to see the destruction in our lives, so Jesus came to free us from all the places we go looking for love apart from Him. Jesus came to give us real life, real joy, real hope, and real satisfaction. In explaining oiur need for an intervention, Jesus said, The theif comes to kill, steal, and destroy; I have come that you may have life, & Have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV).
When Jesus says He came that we may have life, what he describes is much more than just mere existence. He offers vitality, richness, and fullness. This type of life is a far cry from the type that is dependent on food, fashion, or substance to sustain its happiness. Yes, a person can exist, turning to things for happiness, and still never really feel alive. Our happy hour, or should I say comfort zones are really just distractions of Satan to keep us from turning to God.
I realize that each woman must come to her own conclusion about initiating the changes she needs in her life. Trust me, I fully recognize that we as women can realize we are miserable in our present conditions yet not be ready to take a step of faith. I've been in that spot countless times. When "Happy Hour" is all you know, it's hard to imagine real life can be found elsewhere. As a woman, you must decide for yourself if you are at a place where you want a change. Can you actually take a new day and embrace a whole new comfort?
For me it took my entire life falling apart. Getting dumped by a wonderful guy, loosing nearly all of my friends, getting layed off from work from a job that I loved greatly. That's when I realized I was a "branch" disconnected and withering because I wasn't connected and recieving life from the vine, Jesus Christ.
I cannot sugar coat this giving up my happy hour spots was and still is one of the hardest things I've done. But, I realize looking for love in a happy hour was wrecking my life. I made a decision to stop relying on alcohol for confidence, hook-ups for love, and peoples oppinion for self worth. Instead, I chose to take Jesus and give dependency on Him. The lure of the old lifestyle can be strong no matter how empty it is.

Today I have more fun living for Christ than I did in any Happy Hour. I say my life today I am happy, no it's not perfect, I still have heartbreaks, letdowns and cramps just like the next girl does.There is a deep current of life that runs through me, that sustains me in the storms so that when life isn't exactly happy, I still have joy.